儿童A:“老师教我们唱的儿歌有一首是错误的!”
儿童B:“哪一首?”
儿童A:“王老先生有块地。。。”
儿童B:“有错吗?”
儿童A:“那首歌是邮差唱的,应该是‘王老先生有快递啊。。。咿啊咿啊唷!’”
儿童B:“酷喔!”
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后,妈妈问他,“你买的是好用的火柴吗?”
“是的,妈妈。”汤米回答,“我把它们都试过了。”
Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲:哎呀,我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西:没事,爸,跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
冉佳俊
古代有个富人识字不多,花钱买了个县官。上任第一天就升堂问案,师爷递上犯人花名册,并将犯人带至堂上。第一个犯人名叫冉佳俊,县官看了冉佳俊三个字,有点儿纳闷儿,怎么起了个名字叫再往后。(古代繁体字后与俊形似)但第一天问案,顾不了那么多,怎么也得显一显老爷的堂威,便一拍惊堂木:“再往后”。冉佳俊一听也有点儿纳闷儿,往常过堂都是先叫名字,怎么今天新县官老爷让我往后退。心想也许是老爷的新规矩,就往后退了一步。县官一看有点儿着急,我叫你的名字,你不答应,反而退了一步。又一拍惊堂木:“再往后”。冉佳俊慌忙往后又退一步。县官真急了,心想第一天问案就给我找别扭。大吼:“再往后”。冉佳俊一看老爷真急了,就哭丧着脸说:“老爷不能再退了,后面是墙了”。县官说:“我叫你的名字”。“老爷小人不叫再往后,叫冉佳俊”。县官一听,脸就红了。又一拍惊堂木:“俊什么俊,满脸麻子。”
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The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.
Why use my elbow and foot?
Well, gosh, was the reply, You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终於决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎麼找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什麼要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空著手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。
or
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
--服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
--对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。
--哦,那给我那个打赢的吧。