英文笑话翻译

三位明星

有一天,史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格——阿诺德·施瓦辛格,皮尔斯·布鲁斯南在丛林为想拍一场电影。不幸的是,他们被部落人抓住。他们快要被杀头时候，他们的祈求部落女王的恩慈，女王说,“去给我找点什么好吃。如果我喜欢它,你就会被释放.”这三个明星看着对方,同意了。然后他们走到丛林中去寻找一些食物。

斯皮尔伯格是第一个回来。他走到坛上,并给出了葡萄。她尝了尝,立即吐了出来。她命令她的仆人把其馀的塞入他的屁股。他们的仆人完成了任务,留下一个尖叫斯皮尔伯格。

施瓦辛格是下一个，得到一些好吃苹果。同样的事情发生在他身上,但是他奇怪的大笑，尽管苹果是挤进他的的屁股。斯皮尔伯格很震惊，他在这里是用葡萄都让他的屁股疼痛,塞进了几个苹果的施瓦辛格,他还笑。他问施瓦辛格“见鬼,你又在笑什么呢?”

施瓦辛格笑着说:“皮尔斯带回来了一个西瓜！”

手译，请参考

英语笑话带翻译 80词

A School-report

The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: English, poor, French, weak, mathematics, mathematics, Fair, and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad. Wall, Dad. Said the son, it is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that? And he pointed to the next line, which read: Health excellent.

学期总结

父亲正在读儿子刚刚交给他的学期总结，他的儿子满怀希望的看着他，而他则生气的读着学期总结：英语,差;法语,中;数学,良.然后,他厌恶地看着那个正在抖动着身子的小子.恩,老爸.儿子说:那没有达到本来应该达到的优秀水平，不过你没看到那儿？他指着下一行，读到：健康状况，优秀。

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbors pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbors house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, Did you hear that Fluffy died? The guy stammers and says, Um...no...um...what happened?. The neighbor replies, We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!

一天一个人下班回家，发现他的狗嘴里叼着邻居的宠物兔。兔子死了，这个人很惊慌。他想邻居一定会责备他的。于是他打扫了现场，把兔子拖进屋，给它洗了个澡，吹干兔毛。再把兔子放回邻居家的兔笼，希望他们以为兔子是自然死亡的。

几天后，邻居在外面问这个人，“你知道Fluffy死了吗？”这个人觉得很尴尬，假装清白说到：“嗯，呃，没有，怎么了？”邻居说，“我们有一天发现它死在笼子里了。但奇怪的是，在我们埋葬它的第二天，有人把它挖出来了，洗了个澡，又放回了它的笼子。这附近一定有一个很神经的人