一、简短易懂幽默英语冷笑话

The plural Form of Child

Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

Tom: Men.

Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

Tom: Twins.

孩子的复数形式

老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?

汤姆：男人们。

老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?

汤姆：双胞胎。

When Do People Talk Least?

Student A: When do people talk least?

Student B: In February.

Student A: Why?

Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

人们什么时候说话最少?

学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?

学生乙：在二月。

学生甲：为什么呢?

学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。

The Reason of Being Late

Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

迟到的原因

老 师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。

二、英语幽默故事

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.

老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。

Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world?

老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？

Peter: Well, well....eyelids....

彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮……

Teacher: What？Eyelids？

老师：什么？眼皮？

Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world.

彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, I am Napoleon!

Another one said, How do you know?

The first inmate said, God told me!

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, I did not!

疯人院

一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：我是拿破仑！另一个说：你怎么知道？第一个人说：上帝对我说的！一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：我没说！

三、十万个冷笑话第一集 全部英文翻译

Wang: lord, lord, lord, Mrs. She gave birth to

Li Jing:

Li Jing: Snake

Lady: ah Messire

Li Jing: Snake, conceived three years, was finally born, the hardship of the Snake

Li Jing: born a male the ball or female ball ah? ?

Li Jing: Why gave birth to a ball ah! ! !

The Lady: Messire sword stay ball!

Li Jing: Snake Mo Elam, to three years and six months pregnant, and now actually gave birth to such a monster, surely monster mischief in!

Lady: Messire This is not our children! The really not Xiangman ... This ball is the undefined status three years accumulate nose picking made nothing has been concealed from Messire, really sorry ==

Li Jing: Snake, you dare to silly point it ...

Li Jing: that, children? ?

Rebels attack: Daddy

Rebels attack: baby this

Li Jing: [spray a million years Gouxue] evildoer to see the sword

Nezha [attack]: [empty-handed access to knives] Daddy baby not monster! Why a meeting on the baby sword opposite ah!

Li Jing: Shut up, I do not have lifetime access to knives and the baby will first come empty-handed!

Nezha [attack]: Daddy, I am afraid the baby bluntly, empty-handed access to knives is not the baby's ability, but Daddy set is hundred percent to be empty-handed then knives ah!!

Li Jing: nonsense, Nevertheless, I'm Lee Xiangmaotangtang the wife Huarongyuemao, how could give birth to you this kind the mountain Mangfu it? ? ? ?

Nezha [attack]: So, Daddy is not like the looks of the baby, it would be easier! Although I feel this looks very perfect parentheses sense, since Daddy does not like it.

Nezha [attack]: In fact, after I was born, there new opportunity to set the image of Oh, brackets laugh.

Li Jing [hi]: ah, then it is good.

Of Li Jing 【anger: ass ah! The cottage online games where you ah! Parentheses laugh is what Ghosts! Do not give her own plus a set ah!

NPC: Please select your favorite image.

Li Jing: This is Shenma develop the game, ah, but also with the election avatar, Hell or sister, not seen so Schwarzenegger sister.

Li Jing: I see or to vote for this, this is the type I like.

NPC: Please select a favorite costumes.

Li Jing: [swallow] costumes, not quite right, ah? But I like it.

NPC: setting is completed, the role of the generation.

Li Jing: so fast? The somatotype it? Do not set it?

The upgraded version of Nezha [Moe]: Daddy, this new image was quite refreshing thing.

Li Jing: 【another one million years Gouxue]

Li Jing: [furious] Please your brother-in-law! ! !

King: empty-handed access to knives]

Li Jing: king, dared to stop me, you anti-fragmentation

Wang: empty-handed then knives ing] innocent ah Bennet! I'm just passing it, do not know why the body suddenly uncontrolled, ran then knives and empty-handed.

Li Jing: [sword out] nothing, nothing more.

Li Jing: By now unable to prove Ru not my own.

Li Jing: [Parashorea as students of the strong points of the daughter.

Upgraded version of Nezha [Moe]: Daddy hate

Nezha hands beat Li Jing fanned Fei LiJing faint

The upgraded version of Nezha Moe: parents who cute, but people are full of.

Upgraded version of Nezha [Meng]: M! ! ! ! Son! !