1 A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!

2 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she , has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?

Please, teacher,said a small boy,I've make someone glad yesterday.

Well done. Who was that?

My granny.

Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.

Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!

3 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman.

Like a gentleman? Dick asked. How do gentlemen do it?

They always give the bigger piece to the other person. answered his aunt at once.

Oh said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,Cut this cake in half, Catherine..

4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold them!

5 George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”

“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”

“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”

6、He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

7、TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go

Slow.

8、DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?

One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and

saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very

pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and

said to him, You got all your homework right this time, Tim.

What happened? Did your father help you?

No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all

myself, said Tim.

9、Tom call Jim's name:I can't bear such a foolish!

and Jim say:You mother could (bear)!