英语经典冷笑话故事带翻译

The Climate of New Zealand

Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

新西兰的气候

老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?

马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

老师：错了。

马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

My Sister's Fingers

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

我妹妹的手指头

老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?

凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。

老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?

凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。

All Except the Music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, Have you enjoyed yourself today?

Oh, yes, miss! said Sally, It was lovely. All except the music, that is.

除了音乐

一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”

“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”

短篇英文笑话故事？

冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了，供大家欣赏学习!

：老鼠是什么样子的

Rodents had overrun a posh***时髦的***private school near New York City. So the headmaster, a friend of mine, asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, i.e. stow***装载，收藏*** trash, no food in class, etc.

The following day, a teacher had her very young children write a letter to the inspector, thanking him for the visit. One of the students wrote, Dear Mr. Johnson, Thank you for ing to my school. Until I saw you, I didn't know what a rat looked like.

齧齿类动物在纽约市附近的一家时尚的私立学校氾滥成灾。 那家学校的校长***我的一个朋友*** 请来了一位健康检查员来给在校师生作一次幻灯演示，告诉他们如何处理这种情况，如，要垃圾装好，上课不能吃东西等等。

第二天，一个老师让她的那些年纪还非常小的学生给那位检查员写封信，感谢他的来访。 其中一个学生这样写道，“亲爱的约翰逊先生， 感谢您来到我的学校。在看到你之前，我还不知道老鼠长的什么样子。”。

：Is ink so expensive

墨水很贵吗

Son: Is ink so very expensive, father?

Father: Why, son, what makes you think so?

Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet.

儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗?

父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想?

儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急的。

：Name Game

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.

The teacher held up a picture of a cat.

What animal is this? she asked.

A cat! said Eddie.

Good job! Now, what is this animal?

A dog! said Eddie.

Good! Now what animal is this? she asked, holding up a picture of a

Deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,

It's what your mom calls your dad.

A horny bastard, called out Eddie.

：Too much TV?????

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:

Mother: What does the cow say?

Child: Moo!

Mother: Great! What does the cat say?

Child: Meow.

Mother: Oh, you're so *** art! What does the frog say?

And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied,

Bud.

：Math multiplication

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!