求英语笑话 最好能演讲2分钟

英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America. 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字

童真童趣英语幽默笑话

童真童趣英语幽默笑话大全

1. Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

汤米：“约翰，你的弟弟好吗？”

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

约翰尼：“他生病卧床了，他伤着了自己。”

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

汤米：“太糟了。是怎么回事？”

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

约翰尼：’我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，结果他赢了。”

2. Son: Dad, is French hard to learn?

儿子：“爸爸，法语难学吗？”

Father: My boy, at the beginning it is, but after that, it becomes easy.

父亲：“我的孩子，开头难，但往后就变得容易了。”

Son: That's great! I'll learn the latter half.

儿子：“太棒了！那我就学后半部分。”

3. A little boy lost his way and went to ask the policeman by the road.

一个小孩迷戚乎了路，就去问路边的警察。

The policeman asked, Sonny, where's your home?

警察问：“小家伙，你的家在哪里？”

The boy replied, My mother teaches me to ask the policeman when I lose my way, but she doesn't tell me where I live.

男孩回答说：“妈妈教我迷氏信路时，就去问警察，但她没有告诉我住在哪里。”

4. The mother asked her little son, Tom, if the car is made of cholocate, which part will you eat first?

一母亲问小儿子：“汤姆，如果汽车是用巧克力做的，你先吃哪部分？”

Tom replied quickly, Wheels! Then the car won't be off.

汤姆飞快地答道：“轮歼仔轮子！这样汽车就开不走了。”

5. A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach.

一个男孩放学回家时，感到肚子疼。

Well, sit down and have some snacks, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.

“来，坐下，吃些点心，”他的.妈妈说。“你肚子疼，是因为肚子空了。你吃了东西，就没事了。”

Shortly afterwards, dad came in from work, complaining of a headche. That's because it's empty, said his son. You'll be all right if you have something in it.

过了一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回来，抱怨说自己头疼。“你头疼，是因为脑袋空了，”他的儿子说，“脑袋里装点东西，就没事了。”

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