有一天，俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料。他选好一样东西，俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看。当然俺有点不好意思了，而且俺还会句英语。

于是 ，俺就对他说：

“I am sorry”。

“I am sorry， too” 外国人回答。

“I am sorry three” 我道。

“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。

“I am sorry five” 我说……

男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）

女：Actually I''d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。

）

经典对话二：

this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）

女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）

经典对话五：

男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）

女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）

经典对话六：

男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）

女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）

男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）

女：Why? Don''t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）

经典对话三：

男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

经典对话四：

经典对话七：

男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）

女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）

1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!

2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with I.

ELLEN: I is...

TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, I am.

ELLEN: All right... I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

CLASS: Big hands!

4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?

STUDENT: Yes, Sir.

TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.

SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

1．Do You Know My Work？

One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．

“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”

“You don't know my work，” said the other．

“What is your work？”

“I'm a policeman．

“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．

“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”

译文：（自己简单翻译）

你知道我是干什么的吗？

一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。

两个人站在外面，看着大火。

“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”

“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。

“你是干什么的？”

“我是警察。”

“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。

“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

这个是我最近见到过最好笑的：

g.w.bush: doctor, what is wrong with my brain?

doctor: your brain is perfectly ok.

w.bush: how come?

doctor: you are the same as everybody else, having right brain and life brain.

w.bush: and?

doctor: but yours is even far better than all the others.

w.bush: oh?

doctor: yes, sir, everybody’s brain is not seperated so perfect. but yours is an exception.

w.bush: tell me how could it be an exception, not because I am the head of USA. I hope.

doctor: sir, your brain is really seperated completely, there is nothing right in your left brain, and there is nothing left in your right brain.

翻译：

gwbush ：医生，有什么不对我的大脑？

医生：你的大脑是完全确定。

w.bush ：如何来？

医生：你是一样的所有人一样，有右脑和生命大脑。

w.bush ：和？

医生问：但是你们的是，甚至远远优于所有其他国家。

w.bush ：哦？

医生：是的，主席先生，每个人的大脑是不能分开的如此完美。但你是个例外。

w.bush ：告诉我，怎么会是一个例外，而不是因为我是主管美国。我希望。

医生：主席先生，你的大脑是真的完全分离，没有什么权利，在你的左脑，并没有什么留在你的右脑。